The inner addict does not play fair.

With the ability to imitate
your parents' voices
it summons your
childhood fears.

Despite all evidence
to the contrary
it returns you
to a time before
recovery
and awareness.

Denial

Denial
our inner addict
adds a layer of meaning to the word
convincing us
that anything good
must somehow be invalid
keeping us
wrapped in worthlessness
and bound by
our fears.

A fog settles in...

Afterwords we say
"How could I not have seen that?"

What is so obvious
in the light of reason and understanding
is often obscured
when our inner addict
stirs up
the muck
at the bottom of
our souls.

In such a fog
we are alone
and that's
a dangerous place.

Many ways to get caught.

Fully utilizing
our arrogant doormat tendencies,
the inner addict
has a variety of
paths to lead us down.

We may not speak up
when it is required
because of one fear or another
or
we may say things
only to find we have
opened doors marked
"Do not enter - venomous serpents
toxic waste,
radioactive agents,
and unresolved issues
within."

Never enough.

Forget half full -
our glass is filled to 90%
yet we focus on the
10%.

That same amount
we'd most likely spill
when we trip on the cat
rubbing on our ankles
because we're paying attention
to there
instead of
to where we are.

Remember, as a child, the thing that was lurking

in the closet or under the bed?

We all have shadows
in our souls
and
that is where
it now lives.

Its joy is in spreading the shadow.

Let there be light.

Arguing with your inner addict

Often does not work.
It possesses a twisted logic
which too often convinces you.
Instead sometimes
you need be sneaky
and do other things
to end the conversation.

Look at the pictures,
call a friend,
kiss a friend.
And, when all else fails,
drop something heavy
on your foot.

Often when you least expect it.

When things are good
the inner addict becomes restive
because its lair is threatened.

In times of stress
it lets lose
the hounds of projection
and regret.

There is a dark artistry to this evil
finding fault
in those we love
or finding ways
to hone our greed.

Something new - but oh so familiar

Brand new - this has not even been printed yet.

This is the process by which
we make ourselves
unhappy and or
crazed
and
risk destroying
everything
because we are convinced
there has to be more.

Better things

Better things to do with your time
than remain
in the old orbit
like the records
which used to get stuck
repeating
the same phrase over and over.

Where it all starts to come together

Dealing with the events
as they happen
makes
living in the moment
more possible
since the past
loses its ability to haunt.

Just as there are times when yon should hold your tongue;

there are times
when embarrassment
or fear
keeps you from saying
what you need to.

Knowing which applies -

ask your heart.

The things we can not change

If we had super-powers
and could solve traffic issues
with the laser blaster built into our forefinger,
or could cast lightning bolts
of enlightenment
at family gatherings
we would not need
any of this.

Pushing buttons

Some buttons turn on the lights.
Some send Mozart to your ears.

But there are others
often red
which set off klaxons
close the portcullis
open the bomb bay doors
and launch the tongue.

Before you get angry

Just remember
you are the one
who suffers most
from anger -
it elevates blood pressure,
makes you look ten years older,
and occasionally
instigates felonious behavior.

Procrastination is not your friend

Waiting to see how things play out...
pays off
very rarely.

They'll get over it...
not a good foundation for a continuing friendship.

And if, in the end, it turns out you were right -
you deprive yourself of the sublime
pleasure
of making an un-necessary apology
which is, as we all know,
a co-dependent's gold medal performance.


PS it has been mentioned to me that this format with the wide photos is difficult
to see
on some people's computers I am trying something tell me if it works
if not
I will return to previous format
soon.

Once, every ten years or so,

when you find it necessary to admit
to the potential possibility
of having made a mistake
it is generally better to do so
before the FBI
becomes involved.

There are times when we don't realize

the reason we are sinking so deeply
in the mud today
is
that we have
the weight
of events long past
on our shoulders.

Are your vegtables still crisp?

Or have they joined the great fungal conspiracy
and set up
an insurgent cell
inside your refrigerator?

If you swing open the door
to your inner refrigerator
the light
will come on.